


good times, bad times

by niccals



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Autism, Autism Spectrum, Gen, VidCon, shutdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 22:12:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niccals/pseuds/niccals
Summary: In which Alex has a shutdown while at VidCon.





	good times, bad times

**Author's Note:**

> oioioi i really tried to portray an accurate form of asd to the best of my abilities. the shutdown was completely based on how one of my sisters (who has aspergers) had a shutdown (as well as some of the things i do). if anything is inaccurately portrayed about asd, please forgive me as i am not fully educated on the subject. also, just a reminder that this is a work of fiction and i am in no way trying to say alex has asd.
> 
> (also led zeppelin reference in the title hheheh *laughs in rock*)

Social situations had never really been Alex’s forte. From things as little as going with George to buy groceries or as big as having a two hour meet and greet at Insomnia or even in VidCon all the way in America. Really, Alex did love the events and the opportunities they provided him; it’s just that having to do all those things was never easy, especially when coupled with autism.

It’s a pretty well known fact that Alex has got autism and no one really seems to mind, if you don’t count the pissy old white women in Starbucks at 10 AM, that is. George, James, Will, and Fraser are all aware of his differing needs and how he reacts to things. They know what to do in situations that they usually wouldn’t have to know if they hadn’t connected with Alex. For example, whenever they’d go out somewhere and had to order food someone would always tell the waiter or waitress Alex’s order while Alex was distracted by some painting or a chipped part of the wall.

While it was nice to know that his friends had educated themselves and learned Alex’s boundaries, he couldn’t help but feel like sometimes they just cared too much. Which is exactly the way he felt about the others reactions to him deciding to attend VidCon that year. They’d all checked with him more times than he could count on whether or not he was fully sure he wanted to go. Each time Alex replied the same; a groan and reassuring them that he would, in fact, like to attend. Eventually, they’d all accepted the fact he was going.

The plane ride had gone over smoother than James, who had taken up the seat to the left of Alex as to keep him blocked from the stranger on the other side of him, expected. George, Will and Fraser had managed to book a full row next to each other somewhere a few rows behind the one Alex and James got. At first, Alex kept asking where they were, and was confused as to why the others weren’t sitting next to James and him. It didn’t take long after ten minutes of repeating the same question until Alex was fully immersed into “All Dogs Go to Heaven”. Alex promptly fell asleep after the movie ended and was woken up about an hour later to the pilot’s voice coming through the speakers warning of some mild upcoming turbulence. James had prepared himself to press a hand over Alex’s mouth and hold him in his seat for when the turbulence hit, but Alex had just let out a low groan and pulled out a little stretchy caterpillar stim toy and let it pass.

Nothing really significant happened on the flight and James was just happy that it hadn’t caused Alex too much stress and that Alex had handled the turbulence so well. Upon landing, Alex, James, George, Will and Fraser had all regrouped.

“How’s about a quick bite before we head to the hotel then?” James suggested, to which everyone agreed.

Everyone unanimously decided on having a lunch at nearby seafood restaurant. Once sat down, everyone decided on their meals. James helped Alex read out some possible items on the menu he might want, trying to persuade him into trying something new, but he knew he didn’t stand a chance once both his and Alex’s eyes read over the chicken fingers option. Alex immediately told James that’s what he wanted and left it at that.

As soon as their waitress had come over to get their drink orders Alex asked James for headphones. James would admit, he was a bit disappointed that Alex wouldn’t be joining in on very much of the conversation, but he didn’t say that aloud and instead just fished out a headset and Alex’s phone out of a rucksack. Alex was settled in thirty seconds tops, a calming playlist filling his ears while he sipped his drink from his straw every few minutes, focus turned on the little cat squishy James had handed him.

Their food arrived a few minutes later than they would’ve preferred. But alas, it did arrive, so there wasn’t room for complaints; especially considering the food wasn’t even below average as they’d expected.

Alex’s plate had arrived with a side of chips, which he didn’t order, and told James that to which the elder male told Alex that if he didn’t want them he would be happy to have them.

“Okay, you can have them.” Alex nodded and stared down at the chips, wondering how he was supposed to get them over to James’ plate without touching them.

“James,” Alex tapped James’ shoulder which made James turn his head over to Alex. “I don’t want to touch them.” Alex glanced down at the chips on his plate.

“That’s fine.” James smiled and manoeuvred them from Alex’s plate to his. Alex slipped his headphones back over his ears from where he’d moved them to hear James and continued on with his meal.

Alex finished long before everyone else and had excused himself to the bathroom so he could wash his hands. He returned very shortly after leaving, looking obviously confused but silently stepped over James’ lap and sat down back in his side of the booth.

“Alex, mate, something happen?” Will asked before Alex could slip his headphones back on. Alex stared at him for a moment, thinking.

“Yes. I asked a man if he could turn on the tap and he just ignored me.” Alex frowned. There was a collective sigh of agitation after that.

“The nerve.” Will groaned out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m sorry about that.” George apologised. “People are right dickheads.”

“Did you get to wash your hands?” James asked.

“No, I couldn’t turn the tap on.” Alex explained. James pursed his lips, annoyed at how rude some people could be.

“Come on then, I’ll do it.” James offered and slid out of the booth with Alex to get the tap on.

The issue was resolved in no time. Alex washed his hands, everyone finished eating and they all made it a few blocks away to their hotel. Alex and George shared a hotel room, James and Fraser shared another and Will got a room to himself. They’d arrived a day before VidCon was meant to actually begin, like a lot of other creators, so they all had a day to relax a little.

Alex was playing against Will in a game of FIFA in his room, as Will didn’t fancy being lonely in his room, while George watched from the bed behind them. The trio continued doing absolutely fuck all for the rest of the afternoon until, eventually, nighttime rolled around, and Will went off to his flat and Alex and George both crawled into their respective beds to get some shuteye before the hectic days to come.

.

In hindsight, a few more precautions wouldn’t have hurt anyone. Maybe if James would’ve chosen to try and get an interlude in the meet and greet they were scheduled to do then it would’ve given Alex some time to recollect himself, and the evening wouldn’t have turned out quite like it did.

Alex and George met up with Will, James and Fraser outside of the hotel at about 10 AM. George had scurried off to go blend in with some crowd before his first panel as to not risk having his identity revealed by walking around with the group. Sometime after that Will had decided to go walk around with another group he hadn’t been able to see in real life since the last VidCon. Then, Fraser had left Alex and James to go explore some gift shops, which left Alex and James on their lonesome.

Both Alex and James walked together in unison without an end destination really in mind. Just wandering around aimlessly, looking at all the different booths set up and seeing some panels of faces they barely recognised.

Alex was scheduled for a meet and greet at 12 AM, which was rapidly approaching. Alex always had one of his friends accompanying him during his meet and greets just in case anything happened or in case he needed something, so James had volunteered to go with him since he was the only one left with Alex. Plus, it was just more convenient.

Alex and James arrived where the meet and greet was going to be held a good ten minutes before it actually began, taking time to gather themselves in order to push through the next hour or so of interacting with all of their fans.

At some point James had handed Alex a stim toy, a little pink stretchy ball. When James told Alex they had about a minute before the meet and greet would begin, Alex smiled and brought his hands up to flap with excitement. James felt more confident that Alex would be able to push through this; even if that ended up not being the case.

See, for about the first ten minutes Alex was doing great. He was giving hugs, holding conversations with people and ultimately seemed to be doing great. Every so often he would do his hand flaps when talking to someone that really peaked his interest or he just found to be really sweet (i.e. a girl with mint hair and a service dog from Italy that told him about how she met her girlfriend through a mutual interest in him and James’ videos, a blind high school boy with a thick irish accent that Alex really enjoyed, a really posh guy who told Alex about his girlfriend who was on the spectrum as well, etcetera).

After about the 15th person they met, James immediately noticed how Alex began to get more fidgety and silent, eyes darting around the room and wincing every so often when the volume would raise. His hugs began to get shorter in length and he avoided as much physical contact as possible. He got quieter, leaving James to hold up each short conversation they had.

James was forced to call off the meet and greet early when Alex started crying when the girl they’d just met had walked away. James swore under his breath and waved over a security guard who made sure the line remained still and came over to them.

“What’s the problem, sir?” The guy asked, glancing over his shoulder at the other two guards who were blocking the view of the few people still left in line.

“He can’t go on, is there a way you could get us somewhere secluded?” James asked, glancing over at the line after hearing a few voices asking about what was going on.

“Yes sir, but you’ll need to talk to someone who can work out the schedule changes.” The guard replied.

“Okay, thank you, I will.” James nodded, the security guard beginning to lead them towards somewhere quiet. James looked over at Alex who was stood eerily still, no longer crying, and with his eyes fixed on the ground.

“Alex,” James lightly touched Alex’s arm. “Come on, we can go.” James tried to get Alex’s attention, hoping to snap Alex out of his paralytic-like state just long enough to get him out of the main event. Alex didn’t budge though, so James had to make up his mind quick. James looked between the guard that was already a ways ahead of them and Alex and decided to jump the gun and hold Alex’s hand in his, leading him in the direction of the guard.

Alex didn’t say a thing on the way there. He walked behind James, hands still interlocked, as a guard led them into a little secluded lounge area. Inside was two sofas and a coffee table in between them, with essentially nothing else. No windows, no paintings, just a few extra boxes in the corner which led James to believe that this room was some scrapped idea that was just used for storage now.

James guided Alex to a sofa, to which the younger laid down and stared directly in front of him, not saying a word. James sat on the opposing sofa and sent a quick text to the group chat between him, Alex, George, Will, and Fraser, telling them all the situation and asking if one of them could sort something out for the people who they didn’t get to meet during their meet and greet. James set his phone down and didn’t want for a response.

“Alex?” James asked gently, looking into Alex’s eyes even though he was focused on the sofa James was sitting on. He didn’t even look over at James, didn’t acknowledge he’d said anything at all as if Alex hadn’t even heard him in the first place. “Are you okay? What happened?” James gently tried to coax Alex into speaking to him, which was going to be particularly difficult seeing as he was having a shutdown at such a loud, crowded event with the volume so high that you could even hear the muffled sounds from through the incredibly thick, brick walls of the room.

“Do you want to talk to me?” James asked, Alex kept his gaze steady, still seemingly unresponsive.

“Cold.” Alex mumbled a few minutes later, just loud enough that James could make out was he was saying.

“Want my hoodie?” James offered, seeing as Alex had opted to wear just a short sleeve shirt and jeans. Alex didn’t nod or reply, just sluggishly blinked at James and, ever so slightly, made a grabby hands gesture, glancing at the hoodie James was wearing. James took that as a yes and immediately moved to slip the hoodie off of himself and crouched down in front of Alex.

“Sit up?” James motioned for Alex to move. Alex stared at James blankly for a moment before moving to sit up just enough that James could slip the hoodie over his head. It looked a bit like a gown on Alex, as it came down to his knees and made him look more like a six year old wearing his dad’s clothes, seeing as it was about three sizes larger than his own size. Alex just pulled the sleeves over his hands and tucked the hood over his head, curling up into a ball.

“Could I go back to my room?” Alex asked in a quiet voice, looking up at James even though his head was turned down.

“Yeah, ‘course.” James nodded, standing up. He reached his hand out towards Alex for the latter to grab onto, which he accepted, and wrapped his soft little fingers around James’ larger palm and stood up.

James slid his phone back into his pocket and opened the door, walking out of the little room so that Alex was following inches behind him, hands still interlocked. James came upon an exit not too long after leaving the room and walking down a mostly secluded hall. They took a shortcut through that and, much to their luck, only had to walk about five minutes to their hotel.

Alex was settled back into his room in no more than fifteen minutes after leaving VidCon. He’d immediately slipped his jeans and shoes off, crawling under his blankets and curling up as soon as he entered the room. James sat on the opposite bed, watching Alex for a moment.

James managed to get Alex to talk to him. Alex explained how he didn’t want to touch anyone anymore, and then very quickly he didn’t want to hear all of the sounds anymore, or see so many different people and things and have to interact with so many people. It all just built up until it was so overwhelming that he just broke; letting tears fall before his mind essentially made him shut down. He told James he probably would’ve had a meltdown down instead of shutdown had he been standing there any longer, which wouldn’t be good for anyone.

James left Alex with a peck on the forehead. He left some of Alex’s stim toys and electronics on George’s bed just in case Alex woke up from the nap he was already slipping into. James walked out the door with a promise from Alex that he would try to do better to withstand a few more hours at VidCon, to which James assured him that whatever Alex was capable of was already more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone cares i'll take writing commissions about anything you want. fandoms are limited to the commentary crew (alex, james, memeulous n them, joshler & phan. any genre, any topic. i'm just writing whatever garbage comes into my head when i'm feeling mildly motivated so yeh. if anyone cares or wants something specific i'm your guy so just hmu xx


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